about anna

Transition.


Coming to life and finally taking the steps needed to fully become my true self was absolutely THE smartest event I set forth for myself.

This is just a snippet of my full story. As a child, I knew aspects of my life were a bit off. Things just didn't feel right "being male." The clothes I was told to wear, the overly masculine toys other boys would play with (I stuck with gender-neutral video games)...all of it...it just felt so off to me. Wrong, even. It just wasn't me.

And my teenage years and puberty were a nightmare. I hated constantly seeing new male aspects coming to form every single week. It was excruciating and terrifying all at the same time. I didn't want this; I didn't ask for this. I remember when tiny bits of chest hair started to surface...I cried so much that night trying to go to sleep. And facial hair...don't even get me started. So disgusting and annoying.

I never got involved or wanted to get involved in relationships with girls during high school - primarily because I didn't know how or what I'd do with myself when personal/intimate time rolled around. I was scared of approaching that from a male perspective...because I knew it ultimately wasn't me.

So, autumn of 2014 rolls around after MUCH delaying myself and allowing testosterone to damage my physicality. I get serious about researching more info into what it takes to start transitioning. During November, I started seeing a gender therapist to set myself down on a stable path going forward. This helped immensely in carving my future path. So very thankful for her.

The holidays were terrible. I reached a breaking point during Christmas. Couldn't take it. Got vocal with the family. Upset. Anger. Sadness. Pain. Torment. Discontent. All of these negative feelings I felt toward the people I've known and have raised me the majority of my life.

So, I put some distance between us. I got less vocal. Silence. Somber. And then the 29th of January rolled around after making plans earlier in the month. My "T-Day" had finally arrived.

My "new birthday," if you will. My T-day holds so much more significance for me than my birthday ever will - THIS is the day I want to celebrate with friends and family. Not that reminder of the day I was born as something I'm not. But instead, celebrating the day I started blossoming into the individual I've always been inside - THAT'S the day worth being celebratory over.

I've got SO much to look forward to now; so much to live for. Life is incredibly exciting finally. And each step that I take every day, makes me drastically more giddy as I travel down this new and improved path in my life.

Happy T-day, Anna. 29 January is YOUR day now.
Photo taken 29 January 2015 - Day 1 of HRT