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| Week 120 |
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| I wish I felt as good as my smile in month 30 is showing. :/ |
It began that night when the apartment flooded. I tossed and turned all night, and I just couldn't get to sleep at all. I figured it was due to anxiety and stress from the flooding, but as the week went on, I kept feeling strange throughout the days. I'd go to lunch with Zach, and I'd comment that I felt funny/strange. The following Friday (week 117), it hit me hard while on my lunch break at work. I kept running back and forth to the restroom to try to vomit and/or use the bathroom, but nothing would give. Management sat me down with a bottle of water and a trash can nearby (just in case), and after every sip of water, I felt like I needed to badly burp...but I couldn't.
Zach then took off from work and drove me over to an urgent care clinic, but they didn't know too much other than chalking it up to a stomach bug. They prescribed me some Zofran, and it didn't help matters too much. I kept having to call in to work the rest of the weekend — due to waking up with immense nausea each day (while still not being able to vomit.) I messaged Dr. Cathey that same weekend to try to see if I could get in to see her on Monday. And I did. We took blood work and had a gallbladder ultrasound and CT scan done that same week.
Dr. Cathey was worried it might be a gallbladder issue since my estradiol dosage is fairly high — I've been on 10 mg of that for about a year and half now (it's why my physical changes have been so dramatic.) Back in December, at my last gender clinic appointment, blood work had shown an estradiol level of 1468 pg/mL...when I probably should have been closer to or slightly below 1000.
After getting a good report from the gallbladder ultrasound later in the week (week 118), I finally got results and info back from the CT scan. The CT scan revealed that I have "moderate" atherosclerotic calcification of my abdominal aorta and diverticulosis of the sigmoid colon (lower large intestine.) Basically, I need more fiber in my diet, and I need to eat healthier and exercise more. Noted. And on it. Other than that, everything else looked good.
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| On our way to the Memphis Zoo! |
The following week (week 119), I began feeling a bit better. I was waking up with less nausea, and there were days where there was none at all. I thought, "Yay, great. I'm getting better." Zach and I had our anniversary date planned out that weekend, too, and I was excited to know I was going to be feeling good during our anniversary.
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| My favourite photo from the trip. We both adored that little snow leopard SO much! <3 |
For our anniversary, we drove to Memphis to visit the zoo and eat at one of my favourite restaurants, Bahama Breeze (Zach had never eaten there before.) You can check out some photos and videos of our trip to the zoo by clicking this link. We had such a wonderful time on our trip (despite having to take an unfortunate detour), and I was happy to be feeling better. Keep in mind, for weeks 118 and 119, I stopped taking my estradiol dosage, but still kept with the finasteride and spironolactone. So I figured, hey, that's probably what was causing my nausea and abdominal discomfort.
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| Kitty loves her tail. Yum. (Photo courtesy of Zach) |
This past Monday (beginning week 120), I started my dosage back, but at a smaller 4 mg. About three hours after arriving at work, chills and nausea flared back up. I didn't know what to do. I thought, "Surely this isn't because of the estradiol..." I was scared. A co-worker of mine, Eric, got very concerned and told me to go home and rest. I couldn't, of course, because this is America, and I don't have any more sick time left and can't afford to miss any more work. Thanks, Republicans. So I drank some water, took a promethazine, and got up and walked around my department and to the front for a bit. This seemed to help. Eventually, the nausea went away, and I was able to continue on with my day — though incredibly drowsy and weak from taking the nausea medication.
Tuesday morning, I took a small 4mg dosage of estradiol again. About two hours after getting to work, the nausea flared again...no chills this time, though. I even took nausea medication right before I left for work, hoping that it would circumvent any flare up. I was wrong. It eventually settled, and I was able to finish that day at work, too.
Both Gigi and Juno have been keeping me company while ill. Good kitties. <3
Wednesday and Thursday were days off from work (I'm writing this on a Thursday). Wednesday, I awoke with immense nausea again. Boo. :'( I took more nausea medication, and decided to go for a walk to clear my head and see if it would help any. I felt fairly good while out and about walking, but once I got back home to rest, the nausea came right back. I didn't take my estradiol dosage that morning either. Oh, I should probably say that I've lost about 14 pounds since this all began. I've distanced myself from fatty and fast foods, and have changed my diet to incorporate more fiber. Regular, daily bathroom breaks are a thing now...so, that's good. But yeah, 14 pounds. I feel it, too. I'm sure once I do stats measurements later today or tomorrow, I'm going to have negative numbers in every field. :(
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| Wednesday night. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. :'( |
Thursday, well, I couldn't sleep at all the night before...constantly tossing and turning due to discomfort. It's not pain I'm feeling from this, just nausea and discomfort. But it's agitating, and I badly want it to go away so I can live normally again. I'm crying as I write this, too. I feel like my life has come to a complete halt, and the only things that are keeping me going is my wonderfully caring boyfriend, Zach, and my desire to not die.
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| Losses in bust and hips. :'( |
But I don't know what's wrong. Is this a stress/anxiety issue that's been at play ever since Cheetohead was elected president and conservatives running around with anti-social legislation? Because I have been on edge ever since November — I cried myself to sleep in Zach's arms that night, after all. Or is it over-saturation of estradiol in my body? A friend of mine on my Facebook wall commented and asked if it could be a possible tick illness. Could it be that? I've not found anything on the body parts that I can see, but it's possible there could be something on my scalp or on other parts of my body I'm not able to physically see. Another friend suggested I get my ears checked. Possibly? I could see that causing nausea and dizziness. But the abdominal discomfort? I dunno. Or is it something else altogether? The CT scan seems to have ruled out any of the majorly horrendous stuff...so that's great. I just want to feel normal again. :'(
(Sunday Update:) I had spoken to nurse friend of mine, Hillary, who thinks that I might have gastritis, based on my current symptoms. Inflammation of the stomach lining? It feels like I've been punched in the gut, and the area where my stomach resides feels folded in on each other. So...possibly? I've been taking the omeprazole medication that Dr. Cathey prescribed me, and it seems to definitely relax things for me. I didn't even wake up with any nausea this morning, for once. I'm still going to set an appointment with a GI doctor soon (I'll call tomorrow)...just in case this doesn't go away after two weeks of taking the above mentioned medication.
Be good, do good. Love. <3
- 28 May
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