All Around Sarail: April 2016

Raining On Your Parade EOTWP

Week 65

Storms are moving through the Little Rock area this morning. I love it. It's mother Earth letting you know that you must stabilise yourself amidst negative or harsh pressure from outside forces. Don't let your guard down. And never, ever give up on trying to survive. There will always be hostility trying to invade a serene landscape. Our world is random. You either learn to survive in it, or you struggle with facing the odds. Life lessons, eh?

Thankfully, the thunderstorms moving through aren't tornado-producing today. That's good. But I love it all the same. Thunder and lightning, very, very frightening. Nah. LOLs.

I wore jeggings for the first time out in public yesterday — at work, even. The amount of men (mostly customers) who made gross, attraction-based comments and/or looked me up and down, making me feel the grossness with their eyes...was bonkers. I mean, I've worn yoga and compression pants out in public when going for a run, but looks from that were nothing compared to yesterday.

I love my red pants! (Yes, British friends, I know they're actually trousers, but it would confuse my American friends. Sorry. :P)

I don't know if it's just because of the jeggings being so much more form-fitting, or if it's because my body has developed so much over the last few months...but ugh. I'm seeing just how sexualised men's views are now. Not every man is like this, obviously, but a damn good majority of them just loooooove thinking with their penis instead of their brain. Respect is completely lost — though I'm certain what they think they're saying is respectful and complimenting. It is not.

It's been an hour since I started this blog entry. It's still raining. :)

Hmmm, physical development. My nipples and surrounding area are unquestionably changing now. You'll see when I post the monthly breast development photo in two weeks. They've been a bit tender the past couple of weeks. This is always a good thing. Progress!

Are you guys able to see now in the photo above just how much my hips have developed? Pre-hormones, my hips were a 35 inch measurement (88.9 cm), and last week, they measured 39 and 3/16ths inches (99.54 cm). It's amazing! Hormones truly are magical. Mainly biologically altering, but magical nonetheless. It's funny, however, that my left hip is developing more than my right one. But with my boobs, it's the right one that has discovered the party. Oh well. The human body isn't perfect, after all. :P

This past Tuesday, I did a live event feed on Facebook. It was really fun. I had several really good questions jetted my way, and I loved answering them all the best that I could. It was also super duper fun getting to interact with friends I've yet to meet in-person. Would you lot be open to me doing one of those every couple of weeks? At an announced set time, even? Let me know in the comments, be it here on my site, my contact form, or on Facebook or Twitter! I think it's a great idea that definitely helps educate and gets the word out about just how human and normal transgender people are. Let me know!

(video ©2016 Jim Linsley)
I am a part of a wonderful group of people here in the state of Arkansas pushing for positive growth and change, equality, and separation of church and state...called the Arkansas Society of Freethinkers (ASF). And so many of these people are such incredibly supportive and accepting friends of mine. I love them all.
This is our promotional video that showcases just how normal we as atheists, agnostics, progressives, humanists, and yes, even some very freethinking Christians live our lives in a genuine, everyday manner. We're human. We love life. And we love when people are allowed to live theirs free of scrutiny and hindrance. We fully believe that government should be executed as a separation of church and state — in that people are allowed to freely worship (or not worship, if they so choose) in any manner they please outside of governmental and taxpayer funded grounds. Our Constitution declares that right already. It's what this country was founded upon. And it's wonderful.
As you can see, we're compassionate for others' rights. We love people. And we love seeing people treated equally and fairly. Feel free to email me using the link at the top of my website if you'd like to know more, or seek out ASF on Facebook or Meetup.com!
With that said, let Target know how much you appreciate them for standing up for the transgender community! We're not predators, we're not perverts, and we're not "men in dresses"...we're human. Like you! And seriously, we just need to pee. That is it. I promise.
Until next week, lovelies...be good, do good! Love! <3

29 April
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It's In the Bag EOTWP

Anna

Week 64

I had another electrolysis session with the oh-so wonderful Bryan Crawford on Wednesday. Seriously. Look at this mess. It's so amazingly wonderful.

My chin is so smooth now! It's finally starting to become quite noticeable. (Notice the hair on my neck...we haven't gotten to that area yet.)

For some reason or another, it hurt SO much more compared to previous visits. I have no idea why either. Oh well, it's slowly dispersing with each session. I'm beyond happy about this happening. I've been dreaming of it stopping completely ever since the shit began growing during my late teen years. Be gone, facial hair...you sick, intrusive bastard element from a Y chromosome.

Who is this girl?! :D <3

Three people at my workplace know about me now. They've been good about it...treating me as I should be treated — human. I've already written how my HR supervisor knows and is supportive, but now I have two friends that work with me on the front end that know as well. The reason being is because they wanted to add me to Facebook. And as most of you already know...I share all on my Facebook page. I mean, I link this blog's posts to that page after all. They would have eventually realised it anyway. It was inevitable. :P

I walked into the restroom at work a couple of weeks ago, and my HR supervisor was finishing up her business. As she's drying her hands when I walk in, she smiles and asks, "Hey girl, how are you? Everything going okay out on the front end?" I was treated like any other woman that would have entered the restroom at that moment. She didn't second guess my intentions (which were to pee, obviously), raise an eyebrow, or anything out of the ordinary knowing that a transgender woman just entered into the same restroom as her. She just spoke to me — woman to woman.

So, to all of you batshit insane "bathroom bill" supporters out there...sod off. I didn't attack her, didn't pursue her sexually, didn't do anything of the sort that you wackos think a trans woman does in a public restroom. I simply smiled back at her, responded with a "I'm great! Things are going well so far," and then proceeded into a stall to pee. She even replied back with the response of, "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, anything you need, just let me know." Crazy, right? A human being treating another human being with respect and kindness.

Restroom selfie! <3

I can't explain to you in words how it feels to be living a life publicly and working in a place where the majority of my co-workers have zero clue that I'm transgender. I've been hit on by multiple guys, told by a few women that "you won't be single long, some guy will swoop you up fast," and have even had some of the older men working there flirt with me like old men flirt. It's gross, but it's awesome. LOLs.

If I do have some co-workers who kind of suspect it, they're being super respectful toward me, and I love that just the same. Thank you. Karen and Li Li, you two are wonderful as well. :)

Gain a pound...waist and butt expand. I see how you work, estrogen. I see how you work.

OH. And guess what I discovered this past weekend?? My work's first-tier health insurance plan...covers transgender sex reassignment surgery (SRS). I began crying when reading about the health benefits and coverage. I'm ecstatic. I mean, this very well could be what finally allows me to fully live my life to completion. And the company also has an employee crisis and help fund that associates can donate to and have a tiny portion taken out of their paycheck toward its funding. For example, a co-worker's father died years ago, and the company paid for all of her travel and stay expenses to fly to the northeast corner of the country. That's so wonderful. This means, should I approach my HR manager in the future regarding the eventuality of SRS, the company would possibly even help with the extra expenses in travel and post-op care. Let's hope. I'm so overjoyed. I'm gonna cry again.

I'm soon going to be working on an article for my blog where I dissect these horrid "bathroom bills" that are currently being hatefully instilled in states like North Carolina and Mississippi. As you've read above, it's an issue (really a non-issue, honestly) that is quite impacting for me, and I have so much more to say. And I will. Soon. Be on the lookout for that, please.

Until next week, be good and do good! Love! <3

I love this photo of Sarah and me! (I was a wee bit drunk.) :P

22 April
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Social Reflecting EOTWP

Anna

Week 63

It's interesting to know that I created my current Twitter account, @Anna_Clay, in the middle of 2010. I did so right after a breakup with an ex-girlfriend of mine. Honestly, everything I had shown myself as — be it feminine verbiage, traits, physical actions, etc. — through the last couple of years alongside that relationship is what led to the eventual breakup. In the summer of 2010, I began thinking, "it's now or never" to begin transitioning. After that relationship unfolded and became unhinged, I immediately set forth creating and setting my name as an actual identity online.

It started with Twitter. I remember live-tweeting a music awards show that same night. During that escapade, I tweeted about all the different gorgeous dresses and pretty attire that the women on the show were wearing...commenting on hairstyles, shoes, and the like — finally getting to be my real self in a public space. It felt wonderfully liberating. Through the course of those next few years, while still using my previous Twitter account to begin talking in small bits about equality and rights, I would occasionally chime in on my new account with a random tweet or two.

Then I switched my Pinterest accounts over. Oooooh, Pinterest. Yes. Dresses...skirts...soooooo many dresses, skirts, and other clothing I wanted to wear, but couldn't just quite yet. Being able to publicly post and reshare cute outfits brought me a lot of relief, though. Next came the realisation that I needed a new email. This was created in early 2011. I've been using it ever since. My old one has been phased out finally. Yay.

My Mii! <3

In 2013, after having the Wii U (a Nintendo video game console) for about half of a year, I decided to create a new account there. When you turn that console on and it loads the main menu screen, your account Mii (or in my case, Miis) are standing in the middle of the screen. My original was there, as was my current one, Miss Anna_Clay. Going over to my parents' house that Christmas with the Wii U, I wondered if any of them (primarily Beau or Shaun) noticed that second female Mii standing there on the main screen. It was the same with 2014's Christmas, too.

Sunglasses and wind-blown hair. Yaaasss.

But ah, yes. 2014. In late October, that's when I began my new account on the biggest social media stage of the them all — Facebook. Since a year of Facebook usage passed back in October, I've started seeing all of these crazy On This Day posts...with the ability to share them to my timeline. These Facebook entries have been bringing back so many memories, too. Some are happy, some are sad, and some are just all over the place. It's been interesting to think back to what kind of emotional trigger must have created each post, and today's was no different.

Today's On This Day memories were two very positive entries from last year. The first was about a blog entry right here on this very website that you're reading currently. It was about my uncle. My mother's older brother decided to visit me at my job to see what all the hubbub was about...me living full-time as my true self. I began reading it again this morning, and I cried once more upon remembering how sweet and positive he was toward me. I'm going to greatly miss him once he's gone.

And the second story...well, it was more of an "equality wins" kind of article. The U.S.'s EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) mandated that transgender people are allowed to use the restroom that is consistent of their identity. This is a Title IX protection under workplace discrimination laws that is currently being fought against by spineless, perverted republican cowards all over the country. As we know in recent news, states such as Mississippi and North Carolina have disobeyed a constitutional amendment regarding said rights. Ahem...

14th Amendment (U.S. Constitution)

Section 1.

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

The bolded text is especially important to know and understand. But radical conservatives don't, and they should be sentenced to prison for enacting such blatant acts of callousness against the citizens of their respective states.

Let me spell this out for you, Repubs:

We ARE a secular society. We ARE governed by separation of church and state. Do you comprehend this? Do you get it? We are nation of many diverse religions, languages, ethnicities, ideas, and even those (such as myself) who don't have a religion and belief in a god. This is what makes us as a country so wonderful to live in! So much diversity! But I understand that scares you. You know, since you've been waiting some 2,000 plus odd years for a deity to return and save you from all the diversity.

Don't you dare ever think you can create laws that hinder societal/human growth and progression. Because if you do, what's happening in North Carolina right now regarding these ridiculous bathroom bills will most certainly happen to you, too. You will pay.

As a transgender woman living in this country, I'm horrified at the exorbitant amount of hate spewing forth from the mouths of those that think I'm some sort of monster that shouldn't be seen or have rights. Fuck you and your idiocy. Your ignorant intellect that's fueled by fundamentalist religiosity needs to be rid from this world. And it needs to end NOW.

So, hey. How 'bout some transgender boobie growth? <3

Male nipples are so funny looking. I wish the damn areolae around my nipples were bigger. Ugh.

There's progress for sure. Every month, little by little. The girls are progressing. And hey, at least the left one is starting to catch up. LOLs.

With that, I'll end this entry. I'll see you guys next week. Be good, do good! Love! <3

15 April
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Slightly Inebriated EOTWP

Anna

Week 62

Mmmmmm. Margaritas.

This past Tuesday, I had my long-awaited appointment with Dr. Cathey at UAMS. I was so thrilled to see her, too. She's been out on medical leave with what she said, jokingly, was a staph infection (it wasn't), and I was happy to see that she is doing so much physically better now. I'm glad she's back on her feet. She means so much to the trans community in this state — especially Little Rock.

The OBGYN at Freeway Medical has a new check-in terminal to gather information about your visit. It even asks if you'd like to update your photo for your medical record. Nifty!

Dr. Cathey was so happy to see me. As was I for her. She's such a wonderful lady and caring human being, and she was thrilled to see my progress after a 6-month plus hiatus. She hadn't seen my actual hair before (except when it was short on that very first visit), and she mentioned how my overall dress, appearance, stature, posture, expression, tone, voice...basically everything...has changed so dramatically in such a feminine manner. She exclaimed, "You carry yourself so well now!"

But of course. <3

I'm just so happy now living life as my real self. It definitely shows.

And yes, I had blood work done once again. Dr. Cathey told me that at this point in my transition (slightly over a year along), my estrogen level should be sitting between 700 and 900...under 1,000 is the safe zone. Remember how over six months ago at the end of September...how, after being on 8mg of estradiol for four months, my estrogen level shot up to 1,600 plus? Well, after this hiatus of not seeing Dr. Cathey for regular appointments and being prescribed 10mg of estradiol daily, I'm sitting at 705 pg/mL. So, that's good. All is going smoothly as it should. My testosterone level is at its lowest level yet, landing at 24.5 ng/dL. And my progesterone is at 4.63 ng/mL — all three within range of where I should be. Good. Good good good. :)

More slight breast development. Yay.

One aspect I've noticed lately is how I'm bumping into things accidentally with my hips and butt constantly. They've gotten bigger. I guess the physical area I cover in relation to what my brain thinks I cover hasn't quite aligned just yet. Because I'm serious, you guys...it's all the time. Doesn't matter...at work, at home, out in public, shopping...just constant bumping into things and/or knocking them over. Ugh. In due time, I guess. One thing is certain, though — I'm definitely becoming more of a clutz now.

How about that Walking Dead finale?? :D

I've been working so much that I've fallen behind on staying caught up on all of my favourite shows I watch. I finally got up to speed with New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Wednesday, but I've still several more to go...five other shows to be exact. And three are superhero shows on the CW! :P I'm so ready for Game of Thrones, though. Bring. It. On.

Work has been exhausting these past several days. We're in the midst of a crazy 11 day long "Spring Black Friday" sale, and it's just bonkers. Not enough cashiers, cranky customers, and register terminals that freeze up and fail, causing lines to get backed up...it's been a...um, trial. Yeah, trial. We'll go with that. But I carry onward. It's interesting that having the correct hormones coursing through my body has made me that much more confident in my actions and speech. It's crazy. I'm definitely a sassy bitch now.

I'll see you lovelies next week. Be good, do good! Love! <3

08 April
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Be Visible EOTWP

Anna

Week 61

Yesterday was the global Transgender Day of Visibility for trans human beings. It's the idea put forth that we're not going to hide any more — that's we're human at the core and deserve every ability and right granted to other human beings across the world. It's the notion that we express toward cisgender people that you've never lived in this world without us...we've always been here. Right beside you in bathroom stalls, working next to you office cubicles, buildings, and whatnot, and shopping right alongside you in department stores, malls, etc. We've always been here.

I saw this meme floating around the internet yesterday during TDoV. I thought I'd make my own to share in the love...and to let others know that I'm human just like you. There's nothing wrong with being transgender.

And our visibility is rising faster than ever now. The world is opening up more — becoming all that much more embracing of who we are as people. And despite rabid Trump supporters or fundamentalist conservatives/religious folk trying to stomp us (and other minorities) under their feet, the rest of the world is becoming more caring and open to differences in others. And that's a very good thing. It's okay, really. Those that oppose us are fighting a losing battle in a culture war where the majority have open arms for love and acceptance. Gasping for their collective last bits of air, social conservatives are choking to death on their own fear.

Thanks. It helps the rest of the world progress and move onward.

So, here we are now at week 61 of my progression. All of the different aspects in my life are just peachy right now. There are days when I feel so incredibly down (yay, hormones), and there are days where I feel like a badass video games heroine (I like those days a LOT.) I feel great. I see myself in the mirror and I'm filled with so much glee.

This Tuesday, I'll finally meet with Dr. Cathey once again. I'm hoping some serious changes to my hormone regiment take place — after all, it's been over six months since I saw her last. And two weeks after that last visit, she dropped my estradiol intake by 2mg after seeing blood test results for hormone levels (my estrogen level was a bit high.) I'm hoping that positive changes to that are in store. I'm also super duper excited for her to finally see me without any additions (wig, boobie cup fillers, gaff, etc.) She's never seen my hair grown out in-person, so I'm very much so looking forward to her reactions. It should be really fun.

And hey, I love my job. I was awarded a second Homer award this past weekend for doing an outstanding job at co-running the garden department's front end with Karen. One more gets me an extra $50 on my next paycheck. Fun! I kinda think my supervisor guy flirted with me yesterday (which I honestly don't mind...haha.) That's something, I guess. It makes me feel good, at least. Do I come across as a big flirt? I probably do. I'm so flipping bubbly around people I like or just simply get along with. I LOVE this girl I work with who's name is LiLi. She's super snarky and sweet. I love it. She's fun. And Danica and Brittney are two of my favourite cashiers, too. All three of those ladies...they're wonderful. It seems I love my co-workers no matter what job I have. I miss my Hob Lob peeps! And I already miss my Old Navy friends, too. They were a blast.

My third electrolysis session this past week went over very well, too. I'm discovering that I only need to shave every two days now. That, alone, is incredible, and it takes so much stress away! You guys, if all this stress keeps disappearing like this, I do believe my prissy arse is going to make it past age 50, after all. Yay. :P

Well, I suppose that will do for this week. I'm totally looking forward to talking with a very wonderful, young, transgender girl tomorrow. I'm hoping I can do what's listed above in that meme and inspire her to push and carry on in life as who she knows and feels inside that she is — no one should ever live a lie, hiding behind a mask their entire lives. That's just cruel to yourself. Amazing and wonderful things are in-store for this little girl. I'm excited to talk to her. And I know her mother is, too. <3 <3 <3

Anyhow...be good, do good! Love! :D

01 April
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Raining On Your Parade EOTWP

It's In the Bag EOTWP

Social Reflecting EOTWP

Slightly Inebriated EOTWP

Be Visible EOTWP

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Raining On Your Parade *EOTWP*

It's In the Bag *EOTWP*

Social Reflecting *EOTWP*

Slightly Inebriated *EOTWP*

Be Visible *EOTWP*

About me

Popular Posts

Blog Archive

Labels

Raining On Your Parade EOTWP

It's In the Bag EOTWP

Social Reflecting EOTWP

Slightly Inebriated EOTWP

Be Visible EOTWP