Week 55

I love my new job. It's not a career-oriented job by any means, but I enjoy working as a "head cashier." That's my title, anyhow. It's super similar to what I did as a CSM when I hired back on with Hobby Lobby in 2011. Unlike Hob Lob however, the HD is crazily more organised than the Lob will ever be.

Right now, I'm working in my training period — a three week long process where I shadow different individuals learning different aspects of my role. But from what I'm hearing from others, I'm having to do this in the opposite manner of how it's always been done. Usually the HD has one train on a computer terminal in a set aside training room from the sales floor, then said person goes out on the floor to shadow an employee who's a "training coach." Thankfully, I pick up on different components very quickly. I think my immediate supervisor is already seeing that. Hopefully.

I'll say this, though. It's so wonderful working full-time hours again. Yaaaassssss. <3

Let's talk transgender bodies and sensitised western culture, shall we?

One aspect I always wanted to thoroughly talk about and display during this transition period is development and growth of primary and secondary sex characteristics. In the culture we've cultivated over time in this very sex-crazed nation of ours, we've created this notion that seeing a woman's breast(s) is taboo. It's strange. Other countries in the non-western world, both first and third, don't even take a second glance of perversion when displayed with a body part that we in America deem to be taboo. Why is this?

Because men. Because men in this part of the world have overly sexualised different aspects of both the male and female anatomies. It's twisted, really. Ridiculous. And adding in patriarchy to the mix, it's affected women all over to the point that we're overly sensitive to making sure we never slip — because we've been taught to cover ourselves; that it's some sort of ridiculous "sin" to display our bodies. I have literally heard these words uttered from my own mother's mouth growing up as a child. "Cover your eyes NOW!", I would hear when watching a film with my mum and older sister that contained a possible breast showing (even side boob!) It's dumb!

Back to trans bodies. I've read various articles online such as this one and this one that discuss different experiences in relation to displaying breasts in public for transgender women. It's absurd, the laws that are created by ignorant conservatives, that hinder the freedom of our own bodies. Breasts, like facial hair on a man, are a secondary sex characteristic. And that's it. (Men, let's go ahead and start covering the lower halves of your faces in public.) Sounds ridiculous, right?

So, let's jump into the real meat and potatoes of this blog entry. As I mentioned above, this is something I really wanted to start upon my transition, but I never did. Originally, I wanted to go with the idea of posting a monthly photo showcasing breast development on a trans body. I felt (and still do) that it would be very insightful and educational for cisgender people in understanding a little more about what a transgender person goes through during their transitioning period. Starting with this blog post, I will be doing so. :) Here we go...

The girls. They are a-growing. Yay. It was near the end of the second month of hormones (22 March) that fleshy tissue really began appearing. I was so giddy about this (and still am.)

Hey, look! Male nipples. They're very slowly changing, too, as my breasts continue to develop. The areola portion has been getting slightly bigger and darker as my transition progresses, and this brings me great joy. They've also become more sensitive and tender to the touch as well. Normal, I suppose.

This month's development photo. The right breast (on the left of the photo) seems to be developing more than the left one. My "party tit," as my roommate so lovingly calls it. :P

Going forward, I'll start posting a monthly photo to chart my breast development, too. I mean, why shy away? I'm not modest by any means, and I also feel it's super important for cis people to understand the development aspects of transitioning. You guys have already been taken on a journey regarding my emotional and mental changes that have reshaped my personality, and I feel it's just as critical and significant to chart this particular aspect of my physical growth as well. Because let's be serious, breasts are a part of a woman's growth into adulthood. And it's just one definitive aspect of the puzzle that makes women women.

This is one reason why I'm so excited about my second year of transition. I mean, obviously they're going to get bigger as I push forward, but I've read about and heard from so many other transgender women that the second year of development brings major changes in the breast department. I'm super excited about that. I realise I'm still cooking, but as you guys know from previous blog entries, I'm super impatient when it comes to this aspect of my development. I want them NOW. LOLs.

Anyhoo, it's my last night of work at Old Navy tonight. I'm a bit sad. I love my co-workers so much, but after yesterday, working an early morning shift at Old Navy from 5 a.m. to 10 a.m. then my new job from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., I don't think I want to continue doing that going forward on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My sleep cycle is borked enough as it is, and I want to return to normalcy.

With that, I'll leave you guys until next week. Be good, do good! <3