Dropping Some Bombs *EOTWP*

20 November

Week 42
Anxiety levels have dropped considerably the past two weeks at work. This is good. This is also because I have been moved out of the women's department now, thankfully. Work has me back in the kids' department once again, and things are much better now. I absolutely adore working with the two girls who also work in the kids' area, too. They're wonderful. I'm still not pushing Old Navy credit cards, however. Sorry, not sorry.
I <3 my co-workers. They're loads of fun!
So, I might be homeless by the 1st of January. That's cool. It's weighing heavily on my mind, of course. It has been for some time now. This should change, however, if I could just land that cozy, little full-time job with decent pay. I had an interview that went fairly well this past Monday — just a simple, front desk receptionist/sales associate position for a company called Massage Envy. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe. We really could use that increase in federal minimum wage right about now, government. Are you listening?

"I refuse to let fear ruin my humanity." - Micah Qualls

This past week, I've been able to read and witness some of the most crude and atrocious, hate-filled, bigoted comments I've seen from quite the lot of my fellow Americans concerning the attacks in Paris and the Syrian refugee crisis. "But I thought you said they were freedom fries years ago? Now you put a France flag cover over your profile photo on Facebook??" Yeah, hypocrisy at its finest. *sigh* And yes, some of it is coming from certain members of my family. It's saddening. The fear residing within each and every one of them is ridiculously absurd. I wonder how they'd react if they were on the run from attacks, strife, and a tyrannical government? Where would they try to flee to? Canada? Haha, our colder temp neighbours to the north would just laugh and say nope. Mexico? Conservative morons want to vote in an idiot that wants to build a wall (and not just any kind of wall, mind you) to keep Mexicans out! Absurd! Hateful! Idiotic! Illogical! >:/

Baby boomers, conservatives, religious fundamentalists...Your time is up. There is a new generation experiencing an awakening right now at this very moment. And they are absolutely sick and tired of your impertinent shit. And this pleases me. This makes me smile. This makes me happy. Because next year during election season, I have a fairly good feeling that this generation is going to finally stand up and say that enough is enough. Positive, worthwhile change will occur. And people will cheer and shout and cry tears of happiness. But I'm also aware in doing so, this will cause some internal, civil violence amongst those extreme conservatives that aren't ready to say goodbye just yet. I expect it. In fact, even today and this past year, we see it occurring. It's going to happen. Those collective last bits of air they're gasping for are running out. They're choking; consumed by their own internal fear and hate. It hurts. I know it does. Because I used to be one of those types. But it's over. Your time is definitely over.

Today is also Transgender Day of Remembrance. For some trans people, this is a day of pain — a torturous reminder of the hostility and suffering people of my stature endure. But not me; not this girl. This is day of empowerment. It's a day that reminds me to constantly stand strong...to constantly spread my fiercely powerful message of equality. It's a day to stand up for who you are as an individual, and more importantly, as a human being. 271 of my fellow transgender sisters have been murdered worldwide thus far (and possibly more, unreported.) The majority of these murdered or killed are trans women of colour, and a fairly sizeable portion have been murdered by their own parents. That's incredibly sad. And it has to stop. It will stop.


So...yup. The holidays are coming up. It should be interesting. We'll see if my family really does care about me, or if they'll keep hanging on to their internal fear. I mean, it's simple. Embrace me. Hug me. Smile and laugh with me. Cry with me. Throw an arm around my back, comfort me; tell me you don't understand, but want to understand. Throwing out that cold, heartless, and dead "But we love you, and always will," quote does nothing. It's conditional, and I know you truly don't even recognise what it even means. It belittles me. It shows zero empathy. It hurts.

I'm going wherever Ruth and Phillip go for holiday festivities. They see the happiness imbued within. They see the positivity overtaking my life. And I want to be near that. Not near hate. Not near bigotry or hypocrisy...I don't want to be sad any more. I want to live, prosper, and be happy. I'll go in that direction.
Be happy! :)
So, progress in the physical stats has occurred! Yay! I really, really do want to get started on waist training, though. But yup, breasts and hips progress. Woohoo!
Progress. Little by little. :)
Take care and be good. See ya, space cowboy. <3

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