Cloud Storms Into Battle *EOTWP*

Friday, November 13, 2015

Week 41
This past week was emotional. I constantly feel as if I'm a burden to others now. Actually, I have felt this way for a while. Ever since the beginning of August when my funds depleted from my Hob Lob holiday payout, I've had others help me get by — primarily Ruth. She's far, far too good to me. Really. I don't deserve any of how well I've been treated.

And I despise this feeling of owing something to another because of financial instability. It makes me feel weak. It creates a nauseous feeling within. It makes me a mental wreck. When I was denied that proofreader position back during the summer with PatientPoint, I cried. And cried. And I cried some more. Because I knew things were about to get immensely difficult for me (added on top of being transgender in a society that still primarily views things as black and white.) I definitely didn't want to make things difficult for Ruth either. And then the LOL fail that took place in applying for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette as a copy editor. Let's not forget the transphobia I dealt with in getting denied that eCommerce position with Dillard's Corporate, too. It's like, here's a strike, here's another strike, oh, Anna, have this strike, too. Lots of strikes for you! Here comes the whambulance...STRIKE! I've been struck down far too often this past year. It hurts.

And it all began with me not getting my transfer with Hobby Lobby in May. Something's gotta give.

I have an interview on Monday for a receptionist/sales position, though. I'm also off work from Old Navy that day, too. Hopefully I can get some decent rest and go into it with a clear mindset. I'm ready for that financial change. I need it badly. And I hate even promoting this but hey, why the hell not? I do have that "DONATE" link at the top of my blog. If you're feeling ever so gracious in helping a trans girl out with her medical bills and whatnot (I'm quite behind.) I'd be uber, super appreciative for all that any of you could give to help out. Seriously.

So, yeah. Let's talk about physical changes and growth. I haven't really touched base in regards to that outside of the profile shots for the end of the week progression posts. I began suffering from alopecia in my early 20s. Hair started thinning on the crown of my head around age 23, and then my hairline began slightly receding up to the point that I embarked on this transitional journey. That aspect of my hair receded by a little over half an inch. Looking at older photos is astounding to see how it used to look. Around age 28, hair thinning from my crown inched forward at angles leading to each temple at the corners of my hairline. It's easy to tell how my hair would have ended up looking had I never began transitioning into who I am. I would have had hair that ended up looking similar to the diagram below.
My hair loss was one of my biggest depression creators.
Hair regrowth is REAL. <3
But this is my hair now. As you can see from the photo taken back in early July compared to a recent one from this past week. The change is tenfold. I'm so taken aback by how improved it's become. It's grown faster, and hair has regrown that had become dormant through alopecia. No more. No more at all. Dr. Cathey had started me on finasteride on my second visit to her clinic, and it's taken the course of all summer into the autumn months to finally start seeing progress from it. But oh goodness, does it make me ever so happy. I've also recently began taking a hair, skin, and nails vitamin supplement, too. That doesn't regrow hair, necessarily, but it's most certainly aided in the rapid growth of the new hair that has appeared. I've got all sorts of cute, little baby hairs sprouting all over the top of my head — trying to play catch-up to the hair that has already grown so well. Hair that I used to have when I was younger. I'm glad to see it return. I'm thrilled beyond belief at its progress. :)
I love my hair now! I never thought I'd ever utter those words. Truly.
Until next week. Be good and do good! <3

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