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| Week 43 |
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| Down the hill from her grandparents' house. :) |
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| Setting the table. |
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| Windy day. I was happy to be amongst good friends and family. |
Friday, after I clocked out at 11 a.m. at work, I travelled back to Jonesboro and Brookland for the first time in five months. There have been changes to the area this past summer, I noticed as I was driving around. I stopped in to Hobby Lobby to say hello to previous co-workers. There were so many new faces and barely any of the previous people that I worked with were there. I saw Dex, of course, Brandy, Heath, Leslie, Tina, Kristine, and even Corey — who gave me a big hug and was happy to see that I'm doing well. It was great to see everyone. I miss them deeply.
Afterwards, I headed over to my parents' house in Brookland. Mainly to get my Christmas tree, lights, decorations, and pictures of T.C., as I didn't want much more to do with being there. It's difficult saying that, but it's true. It hurts. As I walked up to the door, I could see my mother in the kitchen looking over to my dad and saying, "He's here. He's here." Ugh. So, my dad then quickly gets up, goes to the bedroom, and locks the door behind him. Sad. Disheartening. Unfortunate. So, yeah. That's my family. :(
I sat and talked with my mum for a while. It's been six months since she's seen me, and she doesn't follow or read my blog at all — though she knows about it. I'm sure the facial and physical changes were a bit overwhelming for her. And for some reason, my car tag renewal notice was sent to their address...to which my father wrote my deadname on the front of it. This infuriated me, and so I ripped the envelope apart in which it came in front of her. My mother then had the tenacity to question, "What? What's wrong?" I responded angrily, "Don't write my deadname. Just don't write anything at all. You knew who this was for. It's disrespectful and transphobic! You DO NOT do this!!" "But that's who you—" ..."NO. Mother, that is NOT my name! That is a name that YOU chose. Not me! STOP the hatred toward me. Stop it!!!!"
I sat in silence...upset and degraded inside by what happened. It was my father's handwriting. The denial and delusion within my family is so stringent and severe. But hey, gotta love that fundamentalist theology of religion, right? I left shortly after getting all of my things loaded up into my car. I felt uncomfortable the moment I arrived in Jonesboro.
Fun visit. And that's the last time I will ever go over there or see them. No more. The bigotry has to stop.
Finally, after recomposing myself, I met with Leah. She's always been my biggest cheerleader and supporter from there. It was great to see her again, too, and catch up on the past several months. She looked quite happy, and her boyfriend Cameron's gotten cuter, too. Or maybe it's the hormones. I'm not sure. :P Anyhow, back to Little Rock, I drove in the rain.
Saturday, (wow, this is the longest post I've done in a while) Ruth and I put up my Christmas tree. We got so involved and enthralled in doing so, that we ventured over to Hob Lob to buy more lights and décor for the tree and apartment. We're very festive now! Christmas should definitely be celebrated as an extension of Thanksgiving and celebratory time of family and friends — and showing respect and thanks to said (new!) family and friends. And it will be. It's definitely going to be better than last year's holiday season, for sure. :)
To cap off Saturday night, I went with Ruth and Phillip as a guest at her work's Christmas party at an Irish pub in downtown Little Rock. It was a blast. And the food was phenomenal! Oh my. And I might have had a bit too much to drink. Waking up this morning was rough. Head hurts, lesson learnt. (But probably not.) :P
Take care, you lot. Be good! <3
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| Happy roommates! <3 |
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After buying more lights and décor. <3
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| At her work party. So much fun. I adore Ruth. |
Take care, you lot. Be good! <3
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The kitties are doing well, too!
- 29 November
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