 |
| Week 26 |
"'Honor thy father and thy mother' can be such a vague tenet. The advice behind it is reasonable--respect the ground of experience your parents have tread, both before and beside you--but when it comes to adulthood, that principle so often degenerates into forced servitude to the concerns of the elderly. I always find it funny that most of the verses in the Bible relating to self-worth come with the price tag of altruism--doing great things not for yourself, but for others. And really, who can the helpless help, but themselves?" - Avery Romero
"My mother in particular, was really frustrated that she'd seemingly 'failed' as a parent, for a long time, when I spent most of my days depressed, about my unchanging body. Transformation was the single drive of my life, and I expressed it as a sexual fetish, imagining scenes of my own rebirth into a female creature, to escape my problems. We didn't talk much, and I finally moved away to live with a roommate. When that drive for me to self-define finally won out, over the need to hide from the world--I was able to 'care' about myself--to do things that were genuinely productive, however slow and scary they might come. And as she began to understand the obstacle that had been lifted from my path, she no longer 'feared' this change, as a detour or a delusion. She simply understood that it wouldn't have been what she'd have wanted for me. And therein lies the key--good parents desperately want success for their children: but they only understand the success in their terms, not yours. You have to show them 'your' success, not just the limited version they've been picturing all their lives. That's really the moment when you win over a good parent--dazzling them with who you can become. Anyone who cannot be happy in that realization, is no parent." - Avery Romero
Lengthy quotes, but every word is powerful and has so much truth embedded within. I haven't spoken much with my family since I relocated to Little Rock. My mother will occasionally text me, telling me she loves me and is always thinking of me. But it feels so barren. Love, for me, is an action - not something that is just said. And also, I firmly pressed my thoughts into figurative stone toward my brother the other day. He replied with a stubborn-headed mental expression that was the equivalent of a kindergarten student proclaiming, "Nu huh. You can't make me! I don't wanna!"
It's frustrating. And you definitely can't say I'm not trying. But hey, at least I don't carry on a relationship with a voice inside my head. Walking contradictions, yikes.
- 31 July
- 0 Comments
