The Banana
13 May
Mother's Day. Hmmm. I've had time to collect my thoughts now over the last few days, and I want to say it went well. My mother came over to my apartment to see me for the first time in a couple of months - mainly because I can't go to their house because dad doesn't want to see me as me. So, yup, she came over to visit for a bit.
She was startled as she walked through the door and I said, "Now mom, don't be too shocked. But things have changed a bit." Instant state of surprise upon turning to look at me (I was behind the door as she entered.) I told her, "Mom, I'm still the same person on the inside. And always will be." She hugged me, I hugged back, and we stayed embraced for a good, long minute and she cried on my shoulder. My eyes started to fill...but not just yet.
We sat down and started talking about things in general. I told her all about my new family of friends in Little Rock, and explained how things are about to change as I'm getting ready to move there soon. I got the response from her of "I'm never going to see you again." Stop. That's the defeatist mentality speaking from someone in the ways of a twisted, warped northeast Arkansas upbringing. I truly feel like most here in this area think they live in some sort of impenetrable bubble - where nothing from the outside can exude its traits upon the NEA faithful. Not everyone, mind you...just most. I've felt it my entire life from this area. But I told her that's ridiculous for her to say such a thing. "I'm your CHILD, mom. I will keep coming back to see you. That's nonsense." Probably not as much, of course...petrol consumption being the issue. But I'll still make a trip up to this area every couple of months. Now, Seattle? That might put a hamper on things. But I'll cross that proverbial (and literal!) road when I get there.
BUT, aside from that negative part of the conversation created by her, I feel like she left my apartment with a better, clearer understanding of who I am going forward. She completely didn't realise quite a bit of the physical changes in me that are, and will be, taking place. I mean, I'm sure actually being in the presence of me wearing a bra (yay, boobs!) was a very startling event. And, of course, hearing me speak - definitely one of the biggest changes made so far. I'm still astounded by how I sound now...compared to my previous voice. It's unreal to me.
Getting oh-so incredibly excited about next week's trip back to Little Rock. Getting together with my good friend Ruth to go look at apartments first thing, so I'll be heading out much earlier compared to previous trips. Yay for not getting to Little Rock during lunch hour traffic. :P Then, later that day, I have my clinic appointment, and after that, I'm getting together with all of my wonderful friends to meet up for the very first time. So happy about that! Can't wait to see everyone!
And finally, I'll leave you guys with this. I have Final Fantasy hair. LOLs. Enjoy. And be good! <3
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