Get. It. Off.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

This post's title isn't an innuendo. I promise. :P

I have my fourth laser hair removal session this Thursday, and I'm psyched about it. Mainly, because during the third session, I was able to smell more burning hair follicles with each flash of the laser. And it hurt. A LOT more that time. I expect the pain to be even worse this Thursday, and I'm sure she'll ask if I want something to numb my face and neck...to which I'll respond, "No thanks. Bring it on." (PROTIP: This girl has a high pain tolerance.) :P

So, do you remember me saying back in my initial blog post how I would eventually talk more and more about things that have occurred throughout my life concerning my status as a transgender individual? Well, story time! :D (I'll talk about two particular stories today.)

As I said before, I recognized certain aspects of myself as far back as age six - that's when I figured it out that I wasn't a boy, but instead, a girl trapped in a boy's body. But I can take it back further to one year before that epiphany hit me. In kindergarten, one of the first schoolmates of mine that I took on as a best friend was named Courtney. I LOVED Courtney, and I loved being around her. I would examine all of the physical aspects of her - her ponytail, her facial features, her eyes, etc. Anything that made her female, I was curious why it was so. And why I couldn't have those things, too. And I was happy being around her. It's funny...because she thought we were boyfriend/girlfriend. But I never viewed it in that manner. I had never truly been around another girl my age and with the ability to think fully for myself. No, this 5-year-old little boy was more intrigued in who she was as female. I enjoyed hearing her speak. I enjoyed hearing her gab on about all the tiny, nonsensical things 5-year-old girls would talk about... 



But Anna, how can you remember all of this? How do you know of events that took place so far back in your history?

I suppose my brain is just wired differently than yours. But I remember all sorts of things from my childhood so distinctively - certain intricate aspects of said events may be fuzzy, but the overall events themselves are as clear as day for me. With that said, Courtney and I would go sit under this log slide (sort of a log cabin for kids with stairs going up one side, and a metal slide down the other) on the playground and hang out. Nothing more, nothing less. Just two kids enjoying each other's company. With each moment of hanging out with her, I was discovering more and more about myself - yes, even as a little child. I may not have known what or who I exactly was during my fifth year of existence, but I was learning. And that's the important thing here. I was always confused why she wanted to hold hands, though. Is this something that two girls do who are just friends? - I'm sure that's what I would have said if modern me's brain was inside 5-year-old me's head. :P

I never liked Tonka trucks, GI JOES, or any other overly masculine boys' toys. I played mostly with my much older sister's (she's 11 years older than me) Barbie dolls, her Lite Brite, Cabbage Patch dolls, and of course, put on as many of her clothes and shoes as I could possibly get myself into. I even used to paint my nails, too. (Hands and feet!) :) And around the age of five, with my younger brother having already been alive for over a year, I discovered video games. And video games were perfect! They were neutral ground for me as a toy. They weren't masculine, and they weren't feminine either - so this was truly perfect for me to hide behind and keep myself content.

And yes, it's terrible that I have to say it that way. I come from a terribly, extremely religious family. So, 6-year-old me wouldn't have been able to keep playing with Barbies and Cabbage Patch dolls. Both parents would never have allowed that. Yes, it's sad, but that was the state of my reality as a child. So, enter video games. And most importantly...NINTENDO. As a company, I have always placed their specific games on a higher pedestal above any other type of game or genre of games. Why? Because their style of video game is more approachable for me. Granted, I know lots of cisgender girls who adore Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto and Madden and Halo and etc etc... But I've never cared for those kinds of games. The overly violent ones, honestly, have never been my cup of tea, so to speak.

I love brightly colored graphics, and characters full of so much personality and charm - filled with all sorts of Japanese craziness. That's my kind of game! And imagine my surprise when Super Mario Bros. 2 came out in 1988, and I was able to play as Princess Peach or gender-neutral Toad. I was ecstatic. I very rarely played as Mario or Luigi in that game. I mean, come on... Peach's dress allowed her to hover! How rad! :P

So, when someone asks me who my favorite characters from any and all video game are, my answer usually is as follows... Ummmm...let's see. Samus, Vela, Zelda, Jill from Drill Dozer, Joanna Dark, Orchid, and oh... Palutena! The more recent Rosalina holds a place in my heart, too, girls. If mainly for that gorgeous seafoam green colored dress of hers. <3

Yes, I like girl characters who are tough and can kick butt. (Peach's tush-push is also applicable.) :P

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